Baltrum - Dealing with a needy wife?

Dealing with a needy wife?

My wife is very demanding and needy. We've been married since December and I thought then she would be the perfect wife. She found out she was pregnant a month before our wedding and I was happy as I wanted another child with my ex wife. Since then she has become demading. Shortly after the wedding she began to fall asleep early in the evening and was always being sick. I used to tell her to go to bed, or go and stay with her mum so me and my son (whos 19) could play games, Just because she felt tired and sick there was no need to spoil my life. My son was due to go to his mums to live, but I dont want him to go. My son is my best friend. which upset my wife -p but shes my wife not my friend. She wanted us to move to a 3bed house but I wouldnt as my son is fed up with my wife and wants time alone with me, also my wife would be on the tennancy and could throw me out if she wanted and I'm not willing to lose my son over her. ] I arranged for her to go to her old house and i will visit her and the baby (though i need to be available to my son and don;t want him to feel left out). When my wife insisted she wanted to live with me i said i may look for a 3bed house - but now she says its too late and I should have done it when I was offered one and after what my son siad about her she doenst want to live with him anymore. I told her I was going on holiday with some mates when the baby is a month old - she got angry. When I realised how controlling she would be stopping me from doing what i want, I decided to book a holiday to the canary islands. She will be heavily pregnant at the time, but not due for a few weeks. I need to get away and am going alone. She told me she'd leave if I went - yet that means she doesnt want me. Other women put up with their husbands going on holiday alone, why is she so needy?

Public Comments

You don't need a wife, marry your son... You have a co dependency issue that is frightening if this wasn't a crappy troll.
your having a laugh right?
it sounds to me like she's scared she doesn't have your support. being pregnant also makes women emotional, but that does not mean she isn't capable of being rational. sounds like she needs your help and you're ditching her. find a way to get back on good terms with your wife and get some balance with your ex-wife and son while still getting some time now and then for yourself. relationships are demanding and they require you to be responsible. so stop complaining and blaming your wife and find a way to make it work.
It's just a hormonal imbalance .She'll get over it
I've been reading about your weird set-up with your pregnant wife, your grown son and her grown son. You both keep posting on here. I think your arrangement is very odd, and I also think that you and your son are very selfish. I don't understand why your wife is even with you, and if I were she, I would have left you a long time ago. You should just live alone with your "best friend" and not bother having a wife, since she's such a bother to you and your supposed happiness. You kinda make me sick!
My fiance takes a vacation with his daughter once in a while alone. Sometimes I do with my son or all together. Sometimes my fiance and I alone and leave the kids at home (they are adults). What 's the big deal?
Now I know why you have an ex-wife... She is pregnant. Women who are pregnant deal with pregnancy, emotions, hormones differently. You need to be supporting her! And you married someone who wasn't your friend. That is problem number one. You choose your son over your wife? Not good. He is your son. That is your wife... Ya'll too make decisions TOGETHER... Unless you want to 'marry' your son. Seems like you have a better relationship with him and you respect him more than your own wife. Why the HELL would you go on a 'holiday' when your wife could go into labor at any time? That is so selfish. I feel sorry for her... You really should not have gotten married! I would leave your stupid @$$ too! Ya'll need some counseling! And she isn't needy, she is being a WIFE. Time for you to step up and be a HUSBAND!
She married a selfish pig who wants to play games with his teenage/adult son instead of caring for her while she is unwell through carrying his baby. I don't see the point of you being married as you don't intend to make any room for her and the child in your life. Your son has had 19 years of your undivided attention, it's time to open your eyes. I would have already left if I was her.
A better question is why you married her since it's apparent you don't have a care for her. She's feeling sick and tired and you don't feel any desire to assist or care for her. You just don't want her interfering with your fun. You don't want to live with her and you don't mind your son (who sounds like a chip off the old block) disrespecting her. Scheduling a holiday during her last month of pregnancy, when anything could happen, or right after the baby is born shows a complete lack of concern on your part. She's better off without you.
Going on holiday during this time, and your wife not wanting you to is not "needy" You are needed to assist her during this time. Pregnant women do act strangely sometimes, and you are either a guy that can deal with it or not. I would suggest you get some reading material on what it's like to be expecting a child, as every woman is different. Also the deal with your son. He might be your "best friend" but it should be your wife that is, as acting out with him isn't in your best interest if you want to keep your wife happy.
You have a 19 year old son - you are too old to have another child - so possibly is your wife? If you can't afford a 3 bed house, you can not afford another child
lmao. Your wife = saint. You = troll. Give the woman a divorce, she has earned it.
i really do not think your wife is being needy your just not being understanding to her. You and your wife need to sit down and talk. she has a baby growing inside her body that you made with her and you plan on leaving her alone? seriously? right now is when she needs you the most and your not going to be there. i understand that you love your son a lot. but is he the one who going to be sleeping with you at night? Your wife IS! Marriage is not easy but it can be a very wonderful thing.
Hello Eammon Firstly, there is no such thing as a perfect wife, just as there is no such thing as a perfect husband! What a woman needs is a man who will support her, cherish her, and connect with her. From what I read above, you have not done that! She is pregnant, and when she had morning sickness, and needed you to support her, you sent her away! Your son is 19, an adult, and yet you put him before your unborn child, whom needs you to support his/her mother! It sounds to me like your son is controlling and demanding. If you were my husband, I would also be very angry. She is trying to convey to you that she needs your love and support, yet you do not give it. You chose to spend time with your controlling son instead. I know you will not like this answer, because it will aggravate your ego, but if you follow these few links they may help you to understand. Do you love her? http://www.kabbalah.info/engkab/life-love-family/kabbalah-relationships?p_options=1#fairytale-love-is-just-that--e2-80-93-a-fairytale What is true love? http://www.laitman.com/2009/04/true-love-is-the-fulfillment-of-anothers-desire/ What does ego have to do with it? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZpZf-ybCzoQ&feature=PlayList&p=4C8C706AF13FF80F&index=21 All the best Mem
Sorry, but I don't believe a word of it. An almost identical message was on here a few months ago ! You are just making this up to get the sort of reactions you know you will get !
it is always good to have both sides of the story, since i think i saw your wife putting a question here just like yours but other way around past few days ago. Here is the deal... Pregnant= hormones also... how much "happy" you think she might feel when a husband does not accept her comments, critisizing and worst of all, telling her to live in another house. You bet i would be realy mad with my husband if he decides that. Not being rude but, what you think marriage is? is that maybe why this is your second one? I understand that your son is your best friend , but quite honest. your son will continue to be in your life forever. and it is your job to make him understand and to love your wife who now is pg. once you grow older... she will be there for you and your kids will be long gone to college, married and have their own lifes. also you need to realize that she is caring a child of your... your new and best friend. as well. Holiday.... same.. mates or wife??? for someone to get angry she needs to have already alot to put up with, you need to understand her and know that marriage is not about you, its about you both.. if you continue the way it is... you might need a third wife as much as hard and hurting that would be for your second one. plus.... i would say.. what a Man Hero you would be for your son teaching him that it is o.k to be married several times.... I hope you understand... obs: My husband never left on a holiday by himself... if he wants to go somewhere he always asks my opinion and off we go together
Marriages on are one-offs. Don't misunderstand. They're not perfect because they are unique. One of a kind just means a Bentley strut don't fit a Lamborghini. Can't take other family's parts to fix yours. Problem is you got too many cars in the garage. And don't take this the wrong way. There's only room for one. Wife is the only one supposed to get that parking place. Number one. Ahead of house, son, former wife, and mates. Needy is as needy does. More need = a buildout of the garage. Why she's needy is a psych's job - if it can be pulled back, that's only for a professional. Spouses can't figure that. They're too close. If she's needy, then somebody out of house, son, former wife, and mates gets cut. Not her. You want more, you persuade more. Not pressure. Not push. You got to start with equal power negotiation. You give. She gives. But you and her have to agree or you don't go anywhere. You could get some personal counseling to know how to be fair and if she's doing the same. Better to spend the money there than on the trip - knowing how to do this kind of talking will pay off big for you in the future.
My question to you is WHY DID YOU GET MARRIED? Marriage is a commitment of your time, emotions, money and spirit. When you got married, God made you one with your wife, not your son.You and your wife are to cleave together, not you and your son. No other human being should come before your wife, not even your son. That is because your wife is you and you are your wife. God is the only being that should come before your wife. Your wife should be second and others third, fourth and so on. Your son is 19 and can take care of himself if he had to. It's your responsibility and duty to take care of your wife. You should consult with her regarding your son. The two of you need to discuss your son and his role or presence in your marriage and come to a conclusion you both can live with. Then let your son know, together. You need to stop viewing you and your son as inseparable and cut those apron strings and view you and your wife as inseparable. It sounds like you are clueless as to what marriage is and the real and total commitment it takes. You think she is needy, but in reality she seems to have a more correct view of marriage than you. You seem to be distant and want to maintain that distance from your wife. It is inexcusable that you even could have a thought to put your wife somewhere away from you so you can be with your son! AGAIN WHY DID YOU GET MARRIED? Your son is going to eventually leave you to live his own life. Then where will you be if you burn all the bridges that lead back to your wife? Your wife is pregnant with your child and your response to her pregnancy related illness is she's spoiling your life! You need to get a grip and man up to your responsibility!! See if there is anything you can do to help her or ensure her comfort during her pregnancy. Your wife should be your best friend. She should be the one you can't wait to talk to and discuss things with and spend time with. You do not have your priorities in the right place. The fact that your wife says she won't be around if you go on Holiday without her doesn't mean that she doesn't want you. SHE HAS BEEN SCREAMING IT AS LOUD AS SHE CAN THAT SHE DOES WANT YOU AND WANTS TO SPEND TIME WITH YOU AND BE FIRST IN YOUR LIFE!!!!! But you continue to hear only what you want to hear and do only what you want to do. How would you feel if your wife decided to go on Holiday alone one month after the baby is born? Maybe you should suggest that and give her your ticket so she can go and you can stay home and care for your newborn. She is the one who will need a break once the baby comes. You need to take some time and really get to know your wife and what she needs. It sounds like she needs quality time/conversation with you. She needs to know and feel like she is second only to God in your life. If you start meeting your wife's needs, she will be more open to meeting your needs for space and time with your son.
She's pregnant, and now you want to take off with your mates for a relaxing holiday while she's trying to get to grips with motherhood. Aren't you a catch. No wonder you're on your second marriage. You wanted another baby, but didn't want to be there to do the dirty work. I'd say you'd want to be prepared for divorce number 2, and wife number 3.