Baltrum

Would your husband be ok with you going on an all married women vacation to the Island of Barbados without him?

Four of us married wives want to go on vacation for a week and leave our husbands at home. Just some girl time away. We all need that occasionally. Men do it all the time. My husband goes on hunting trips where he is gone up to 5 days at time. However, he is giving me major grief about the Barbados trip and is fighting me not to go. The other 3 wives have the green light from their husbands. I am PISSED. I told him that i will remember that next times that he leaves for these long hunting trips. His reply was that " I do not get hit on by women while deep in the woods". How do I convince him to let me go? This is driving a wedge between us. In the end, I may go anyway. I am not his property and he had better stop treating me this way. ps: we are all in our 40's and kids are mostly grown farmerswife, money is not a problem. I have my own money....i do not need his. Furthermore, that was not MY comparison, that was his.

Public Comments

1. This has absolutely nothing to do with you. He is embarrassingly insecure. You know, I could understand if money was tight or you had an ill parent and should not be leaving the country. But, he really thinks you will be "hit on". And, that is his driving force to try and keep you home. He is basically saying that he does not trust other men, that, I get. But it is rather insulting to you because if you were hit upon, you have the ability to tell the guy to take a hike. He should have more faith in YOU. Does he have reason not to trust you? My goodness, I would go ahead and book my trip and just try to get him to calm down and see that you deserve this girls vacation. Again, never lose sight of the facts here: you are doing nothing wrong, your husband is insecure.
2. You should ask him, "If I do get hit on by men, what do you think I will do?" He's insecure. You need to stop being mad long enough to see if you can alleviate his insecurity.
3. He doesn't trust you, that's obvious. And he is insecure as well. Did you give him a reason not to trust you? Are you flirting with other men when he's around? Did you cheat in the past? Do you plan on flirt/having sex/make out with any other man while in Barbados or is it simply some girl time away? If the answer to all these is "no", then he has no reason not to let you go. Tell him to trust you more and you didn't give him ANY reason not to till now.
4. Just go, he's being childish.
5. I wouldn't want to spend that much money on a vacation and go without my husband. My guess is that his hunting trips probably dont cost as much as a trip to Barbados. Just a thought. I think your comparisons are a bit off.
6. I would say you are free to go , just don't come back here. BTW, your 3 ' green light ' friends husbands have mistresses and so are happy they are leaving.
7. hunny yall are grown and most likely been together for years and apparently he has issues he needs to suck up and deal with. One he apperently dont trust u which he needs to grow up on im 21 years old and married but i know when to spot an really jelous and indecure man just go ur a grown women and he needs to see that.
8. If he does not trust you to go on an all girl's trip. (Married Wives) then there is a huge problem. Remember that old saying (If someone question's your intentions, what are they up to.) Tell him you love him and that if it is going to put a damper on your marriage then you will not go but other than that you should tell him you would love to go and that it would mean the world to you if he was able to be strong and put trust in you. Best of luck.
9. AH Ha! Here is why, read this article about female sex tourists going to those islands including Barbados. My guess is that he read something similar so he thinks you 4 women want to go alone to get some black bone. http://www.escapeartist.com/Travel_Mag/Issues/07/Womens_Sex_Tourism.html
10. I wouldn't have a problem with my wife going provided these were all married women. If we were talking about 3 single women inviting my wife to go out with them on a vacation I'd be a bit more uncomfortable. I myself take a Las Vegas trip with my Dad (married), Brother (married), & some other married men with their sons (who are also married). While there is plenty naked women in Vegas, the trip is basically gambling, golfing, eating & catching some shows (Blue Man Group, Comedians etc.) I would expect my wife to NOT be happy if I was going to Vegas with some of my single friends who on a typical week-end hit the bars, strip clubs & get a happy ending at some shaddy message parlor.
11. Honey...you go anyway! Men are all babies and when it comes down to it? they are men, all of them love to have just that last little bit of control. Go...let him be mad. The next time he goes on a long hunting trip? don't bring up your barbados trip. But do not under any circumstances let him talk you out of this trip with grief...go go go. I've been married 11 years, I'm only in my 40s, and I watched my mother who was married to my father for 18 years let him give her grief and she give in so she didn't have to hear it. She left him after years of resentment and met a great guy and is having the time of her life. I learned from her early with my own husband, if there was something I wanted, and it didn't harm our family or relationship and it simply came down to his grief, then I did it anyway. He learned finally that I was my own person with my own ways and an adult to boot who had every right to make their own decisions. Trust me...Go.
12. I would go. That said, I once talked to my husband about a trip away with a married friend who was completely stressed. I thought she could benefit from the time away. He was fine with it, but pointed out that this particular friend took up with married men when she was single. He said, "How would you feel if she abandoned you and took up with another man while you were on the cruise?" He was right - and I dropped the idea because I truly didn't trust that this couldn't happen. With 3 women however, this is not going to happen - I would go. Tell him that you will be flattered if men hit on you, and that just because you are flattered does not mean that anything would happen. You could be hit on at the PTA meeting - why would he think that would mean you would cheat. I would be highly insulted by the implication. Attractive men are everywhere - marriage means that they are simply off limits, not that you are dead inside or to be invisible from now on. He should have more faith in you, and I would not broadcast his distrust by telling the other women that you cannot go. If you do not go, your marriage will be more damaged than if you go. He needs to do some growing up, and this is an opportunity to help that along.
13. I am going on a women's only trip in October to St Thomas. There will be 8 of us-mostly married women going for 5-7 days. My sister is turning 50 and she wanted to do something very special, so she planned the trip. She invited just a couple of women, but it has blossomed into 8. My husband very much encouraged me to go, and he even bought the ticket with his frequent flier miles. I would be angry and upset if my husband gave me a hard time about going, especially because the only reason he objects is because you'd get "hit on" by someone there. And what, you couldn't resist? Or you couldn't get hit on locally at the post office or market or anyplace else? I would tell him I was going, I would explain that he has nothing to worry about, and I would point out that the one and only reason I am married to him is because I choose to be. It's not like you're married to him because you have no other options-you make a choice every day to remain married, just as you make a choice every day to remain faithful-and that doesn't change whether you're in Ohio or Barbados. I let him stew on that a bit and start planning my trip.
14. eff that gurl i would go!!! he sounds a little insecure and jealous. tell him to get over himself an bring him a T shirt back. im all for it. even if your girlfriends were single. as long as its not a singles cruise or anything. i already told my husband summer 2011 me and my homegirl (im married shes single) are going on a cruise and he said fine. he wants to go to vegas with his friend. its about trust. if a guy hits on you you know not to sleep with him for crying out loud. gurl go on your vaca and have a ball. the funny thing is, i would say honey i get hit on whem i go to the grocery store...you wana do all the food shopping too?
15. I wouldn't have a problem with my wife doing that once our kids are a bit older. While she's gone I'd have a guy's night at the house, and look forward to her coming home refreshed and rejuvenated from the trip.
16. i agree 100% with Ryde-0n.. i know nearly every single person here said to just go anyways, and that he is insecure.. personally, i don't think he is insecure at all. i would be looking into making that trip to with him..
17. I can't tell you how many thousands of dollars my ex used to spend on hunting/fishing trips and equipment. And every time I wanted to go out, even just for an evening, he'd get all pissy. Like you, I have my own money. And if he's concerned that a guy might hit on you, he should know that he can trust you not to follow through with the first guy to make eye contact with you. It's ridiculous! Go! Have fun!
18. Have a nice time.